To My Perfect Dad, My Best Friend, The Best Man I Will Ever Know

It has been 3 years since we were last together.
I will never forget the time and date....8.15pm on Tuesday August 27th 2019.
My world absolutely fell apart and I had to face the fact the world was never going to be the same place ever again...because you Dad, were no longer going to be in it with me.
I know you didn’t want to leave us and that you were tired and I am so sorry I wasn’t holding your hand when you went to sleep. I promise I wanted to be with you and I will never be able to come to terms with the fact I wasn’t there when you needed me to be there.
I had waited for Angela to arrive before I left to go home to get Mum and Sasha so as we could all be together that night and we were devastated to see the carers faces when we pulled into the car park at Phyliss Tuckwell.....we knew we were too late.
If only we had been 15 minutes earlier we would have been able to hold your hand together as a family and say goodbye and we would have seen you to tell you how much we love you one last time.....I’m so so sorry dad.
Angela and Martin were there as I would never have left you all alone but we truly wanted to be with you and I can never forget that or forgive myself for not being there.
You were always there for me whenever I needed you and you never ever let me down....not once, and I feel I failed you by not being there for you.
You always were the perfect dad and the best dad anyone could ever had wished for.
I cannot remember one time that I felt you hadn’t been there for me and that is a testament to the man you were....the man you will always be remembered as.
I know you grew up without a father and nothing to refer to yet still you were perfect and were the perfect father.
I always felt safe and loved and will forever be thankful for everything you did for me and for being the man that you were.
Myself, Angela and Sandra all felt safe and loved our entire lives and that was because we knew that you and Mum would always do your utmost to let nothing happen to us...it never did....you never failed us Dad.
You gave Mum an amazing life and an amazing family and we all had the values that you and Mum gave us and have carried them through our entire lives....to do anything less would be letting you down and I have never wanted to do that....none of us have.
I will always love you with all of my heart Dad and I miss you every second of every day...I always will.....we all will
These aren’t just words, these are my true feelings.
I have so many wonderful memories of our lives together and I intend to put them all in a separate story of my memories of you and our life together....I have so much to say.
Our life with Mum, Angela, Sandra, Candy and of course Sasha Basha....your beautiful little girlsy.
Mum loves you so so much and misses you every day, you always have been The Love Of Her Life and were Mums world.
Angie loves and adores you with all her heart and misses you every day too Dad, I know she does and Sandra always loved and adored you too.
We all love you forever Dad and I know that I can send love to you from your 3 grandsons, Martin, Steven and Andrew....they all love you and miss you very much and they always will.
You made all our lives so special and full of adventures, fun, safety and most of all love.
I know Sandra and Candy and Sasha are with you now and I hope you are all looking after each other and having lots of cuddles all the time.
I promise I did everything I could to keep Sasha safe and well looked after Dad, just like you looked after her before you went to sleep. I couldn’t have done as good a job as you did as you were always the bestest of friends but I always tried my best.
I spent the last 2 years of Sashas life by her side and I always felt privileged to be able to spend that time with Sasha, loving her and cuddling her and making sure she was loved by myself and Mum beyond words and that she was taken care of, I slept on the floor with her every night and always made sure that she was never alone....her spirit was always amazing and she was a brave little girl without you in her life, I know she missed you but she was so brave......with Sasha there I always had joy in my life as she was always such an amazing little girl and so full of love and fun and unbreakable spirit.....she never changed Dad and she filled my heart with joy. Just like you always did.
Sasha was my world and I knew how important she was to you, she was our number one priority and the most important little girl in the world to us too.
Myself and her Mummy were with Sasha when she closed her eyes and went to sleep for the last time. She was laying in her back garden where she loved to be and myself and Mummy were cuddling her and holding her paw and telling her how much we loved her.....I hope that when she woke up, she woke up to you smiling down on her and she leapt up into your arms and you cuddled each other and never stopped.
You are my Best Friend....The one constant in my life and my complete rock.
You are The Best Man I Will Ever Know
You are The Bravest Man I Will Ever Know
I’m so proud to be your son, so proud to say that you are my Dad.....so proud of you.
Thank you for everything Dad
Thank you for all the love, all the support, for taking care of us all and keeping us safe
Thank you for your pure unconditional love and your selflessness
Thank you for being my everything
Thank you for being my world
Thank you for being my Dad
I will always be the luckiest man alive to have had you as my Dad.
With you in my life everything was okay, I was okay, I could take on the anything.
I will always love you forever Dad....always
I never want to let you go...I want to keep you alive in my heart forever and will always try to keep my memories of you as fresh as I possibly can.
I will always try to talk to you every day and say goodnight...I just want to stay in touch with you in some way and keep you alive in my heart.
I will do my best to talk to you every day and to let you know what is going on in the world and in my life....although nothing changes for me much....I’m just looking forward to being with you again.
When the time comes.....I will welcome seeing you again.
Writing this message is painful because I love and miss you so much but I need you to know all these things Dad as I never got the chance to say a lot of it....but I hope you knew.
I love you My Dad....forever and ever....I always have and I always will

Your forever loving Son

David
xxx